A Perpetual State Of Preparation

Bex — Wed, 12 Apr 2017 15:49:29 +0000

Despite a lack of performances over the past twelve months, there hasn’t been a day that I haven’t written something – most commonly a snippet of some song idea, an instrumental piece of guitar music (a glorified riff), a poem, or a blog post. I write music reviews and articles daily, but these don’t generally allow me to get the creative confusion out of my system the way writing songs does. This has been true for the past 8 years now, during which time I’m fairly certain I’ve written close to a thousand songs – many of which have been forgotten about, or the serviette upon which I scribbled the lyrics has long since dampened and disintegrated in some lowly, abandoned pocket. However, that still leaves me with hundreds of songs – complete, playable (acoustically at least) songs, that I have never laid down or put out.

Having recently suffered from a pretty harsh chest infection and losing my voice almost entirely, and this, combined with the constant pressure of do it, do it while you can from inspiring videos and entrepreneurs and creatives that I seek out daily online, gave me the fear. I’ve known what needed to be done for quite some time – in order to satisfy my creative needs, and in order to finally put these songs somewhere behind me and make room in my mind for new things, new endeavors, new ideas – I know what the job is, and I have the tools with which to do it. But, as I’m sure we all can relate, knowing what needs to be done and actually doing it are all too often miles and miles apart. The fact is, there are only so many weeks in a life. And I’ve used a big bunch of them already.

I hereby vow to record (or make a video of) as many songs as possible that I have written (or, occasionally, arranged covers of) over the past 8 years, and I will do this as the coming months (April 2017 onward) unfold. I will, at some undeclared moment in 2017, be releasing an album and/or collection of EPs, the primary of which will be called A Perpetual State Of Preparation. The songs are there and the drafts are ready. Whether it’s a live acoustic collection, or a fully polished, mixed and mastered indulgence, I’m not too sure just yet. But by putting all of this in writing, I’m baring the truth of my intention.

If I don’t do these things I’ve promised myself I’ll do, disappointment will no doubt suffocate me much more than any fear of rejection might. When I’m much older, if the world allows it, I’ll be glad I have these things on record. Regardless of external factors. It’s always interesting to look back at things that I wrote when I was at school, photographs that were taken, things that were achieved or even things that didn’t quite go to plan. We live and we learn, perspectives evolve. Change is good. It’s important to remember though, that we all come from somewhere. There’s a trail behind everyone. Not so that we can find our way back, perhaps even the opposite, but at the very least it’s so that we appreciate that there was a beginning.

These are the facts. I think about them often, and now they’re here. Written. Published. A real-life, public to-do list. A promise.

Here goes something.

Documenting – Rebecca Cullen

A Perpetual State Of Preparation